During my pregnancy, like many expectant of mothers, I too had planned a lot. One of those plans included was to get my baby started on Baby-Led Weaning. Like all moms-to-be, I was living through the calm before the storm. I even enrolled in baby feeding classes and prepared myself as much as I could.

I soon realized that no number of classes can prepare you for postpartum. After giving birth, I struggled with breastfeeding. My baby spent most of the time that she was awake crying, slept less than usual, and could only be soothed held in a certain position. I later discovered she had colic. After visiting numerous pediatricians, I finally found the perfect fit for us. She informed me that the formula was likely the cause of the colic and was also contributing to my baby’s inability to gain weight. She encouraged me to either switch the brand or exclusively breastfeed. I chose the latter, and slowly, over the course of a few days, she not only stopped crying but also started gaining weight.

I chose to start solids at six months and always imagined myself as the picture-perfect mom from an Instagram reel — serving neatly cut steaks and vegetables on a plate to my six-month-old. I bought various feeding utensils as well, and while Ayra loved trying new things, she never ate more than a bite. As a feeding therapist, I knew baby-led weaning was the best way to go — but we were both struggling with it. Mealtimes became stressful and the constant stress of my baby not gaining enough weight made me dread mealtimes altogether.

That’s when I told myself that it was okay. It was okay if I didn’t want to try baby-led weaning anymore. It was okay to give her purees. It was okay for me to feed her bites. My main concern at this point was her healthy weight gain.

Here’s what I did instead:

I started feeding her myself but always gave her a spoon.

I handed her snacks so she could nibble on them herself.

She always sat with us at the dinner table, and I gave her food pieces on her plate.

I started her directly on cup drinking instead of using a bottle.

I began with purees and slowly transitioned to mashed and soft foods.

Slowly, she started self-feeding at one meal, and I increased it to two. The best way to feed is to make it a positive experience for both the parent and the baby — instead of a stressful one.

As a mother, I always felt like it was my fault that my baby wasn’t gaining enough weight or never seemed full — until I realized it was the pressure, I was putting on myself to do things a certain way. My breastfeeding journey and starting solids became so much easier once I reminded myself that bonding with my baby was more important than anything else.

But what about picky eating?

Choosing not to opt for Baby-Led Weaning did bring up some concerns. Research says that baby-led weaning may allow for better food acceptance.  Would I be giving way to picky eating because of my choices? I initially thought Ayra was a picky eater — until I realized that may be because I wasn’t offering her a variety of flavors and textures. Once I added that to the equation, everything changed. At present, she eats almost everything except spicy food and watermelon — and that’s okay.

These are just my personal thoughts and experiences — every baby, every journey is different.